It’s been a rollercoaster few months, technically years, planning this wedding. From the get go, my plan was to remain grounded, unstressed and aim to take everything in my stride. Those who know me,’probably fell off of their chair laughing‘ at that last sentence. Let’s just say, relaxing, calm, and taking things in ones stride are not qualities I would say I emulate when I want something done, and done bloody well at that.
The pinnacle point was a month ago, Mr LL came home to me in a puddle of tears because the venue we had been meticulously going back and forward with for over 6 months finalising our big day, decided to drop a bombshell that they did not have any weekend dates left in 2019 – it is worth mentioning, this was when we went to book the venue. Bearing in mind we have been in constantly contact finalising the details, menu, ceremony etc and the fact that our wedding dates were the subject bar of the email. At this moment, as I sat in my bed with tears flowing down my face, all I could think was, how did we get here? How did I end up stressed and teary when I had set out on this master plan of relaxation and calm.
The truth of this matter is, you can be the calmest person in the world, but in moments like this, there will be situations outside of your control. And in this case. This was one of them.
You can sink or swim in these situations. Dwell on the negative and get bogged down. Possibly even throw a tantrum. But truthfully, the best way to tackle such an issue is to work as a team to move things forward.
Enter the hero of the moment; Mr LL. Master at making you feel better, wiper of tears, champion hug giver, this man knows how to diffuse a situation – especially when (dare I say it) I’m being a tad dramatic. The voice of reason, as he softly told me all would be ok, we would do this together and none of it matters as long as we are together. And this is so very true. I didn’t care about the venue really, I think what bothered me more was the wasted time spent and thinking we had finalised the one.
None of it matters.
A funny connotation when thinking about a wedding, because so much becomes about the BIG day, when really. Does it even matter?!
I really started to ponder this thought, and in realising how unaffected our lives would be by a venue – it flipped the tables for us slightly. If we didn’t care where we got married, and all that was truly important to us was having our close friends and family by our side as we say our vows and get married, then really, nothing else mattered.
Making this decision together was the best thing we did. Sure we would like a lovely nice venue, and I don’t want to get married at Mc Donald’s, but the need for an exclusive use venue or a castle suddenly didn’t seem so important anymore. None of it matters. After the day is over, it is the moments and the people you remember. Not the chair covers or table placements.
One of the best pieces of advise I received from two friends who had married previously was, you will not care about any of this on your big day. And the truth is you wont. So why lose any sleep over it.
From one extreme to the other. We went from feeling let down with no venue, to booking and paying our new venue in a matter of weeks. It just goes to show how simple the process can be when you loosen the reigns a little.
Having now found, booked and paid for our venue in under 4 weeks. (We have yet to actually view it right enough – how is that for blind faith!) One of the biggest things I wished I’d paid attention to, was my gut. My gut feeling about the last venue, when they took ages to respond to simple questions, or when I had to chase them three times for their quotation. From the seamless process with our new venue, it is apparent the one before was a complete shambles. So listen to your gut, it knows. And if alarm bells are going off before the big day, maybe it’s worth considering a different option.
Having secured our venue and my wedding dress, it is time to kick back, relax and enjoy the creative part now! Not to mention the countdown.
What struggles did you face when planning your wedding? Share you stories in the comment box below! I welcome any advice – especially if it keeps me calm!